Day 17 - Nearly didn't make it!

I was so tired when I woke up, I hadnt slept properly because it was too hot, so woke up in a bit of a grump, started panicking about money and its purpose, and regretting spending so much on so little, and wondering how you can have no regrets when you've been such an idiot. I just think it's a bit idiotic to just say dont have any regrets or don't dwell on the past, like you see on some of those cheesy facebook posts, with a picture of some girl dancing in the sunset! Did she just spend all her money on champagne, before the dance took place? I doubt it! Anyways the whole principle of this blog is about being positive, and I guess because its public, you have a certain responsibility to become a better person, so I guess I have to start learning from my mistakes to make them into positives. Anyways I texted Hijee a couple of times to see if she was ok, and she didn't text back all day and I had a feeling that she was upset about something. She finally texted me back and said she had accidently looked at my phone when she was looking for her phone the night before and seen I had lots of messages from different girls, and she didn't want to see me anymore. So I was pretty upset, bearing in mind that I had been single for a long while, and so there were a few girls that I would text from time to time. I felt really guilty that I had made her sad, and also selfishly I felt a bit sorry for myself that I had lost her. It had only been exactly one week since we first held hands on the fantastic day by the river, but she was so different, because shes the type of girl that makes you want to be a better person and her company is magical. Anyways I tried to explain myself, and I sent her the link to this blog, it kind of proves that she is the only girl in my life, anyways I went to bed feeling sad and thought I have failed at this blog now, because was pretty shit from beginning to end. So I was lying in bed watching some documentary about gangs in american prisons, and I got a sweet text from Hijee saying she missed be and she still wanted to see me. So I made it I had at least 10 minutes of Happy at around 10:30, I will have to take more care of her in the future because she is so cute!

For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.

— CARL SAGAN